So If found myself on Fathers Day afternoon with one last Re-Admit pass to the theatre, some cash that was a Fathers Day gift, and it's raining cats and dogs (again, this is getting very tedious), so the pool, launching rockets, flying kites, etc., are all right out.
Me and Mo hit Wonderscope, which was fun as far as it goes. We had to leave when I couldn't get Mo to quit biting the Legos. It's a losing battle with the home set, but these Legos are covered in a thousand other kids' cooties.
I made a tongue depressor man. Kind of like how he turned out.
And the Lego stuff they have includes all these interesting parts our legos at home lack. I built a couple of spaceships, and upon asking Mo what each one was she just said, 'Rocket.' She said it in a way that implied what the hell else would you build, Dad?
So from there, I thought maybe a movie. One I had in mind to see myself, and I thought Mo might dig it. She liked Transformers, so I asked her if she'd like to see The Incredible Hulk.
I know it's a PG-13 flick. I was prepared to leave the theater if it went places I wasn't cool with. Going to a movie with Mo means being prepared to walk anyway because there's the chance she'll have a seizure, get impossibly loud with her vocalizations and refuse to shut it, etc.
I just hoped if we had to walk, it would be early enough in the game that I could get a refund. I think if you go to the management in the first ten or fifteen minutes of a film, you have a reasonable chance that they'll at least give you a re-admit pass good for another show. I know if you finish a movie, no matter how awful it was, you won't get anywhere. I learned that less when I wasted seven bucks to see the first Kill Bill.
The PG-13 was for violence and something like 'a brief suggestive scene.' I love the way the ratings board tries to explain their ridiculousness. My concern, really, was rooted in having seen Iron Man a few weeks ago. A lot of people get very plausibly shot to death in that film, and I'm not down with Mo watching that. But in the Hulk trailer, you see Blondsky get kicked off into the distance, and you know he's not dead because it's Blondsky. So I'm thinking more cartoonish violence, and I'm okay with that.
We're getting to some near-spoiler territory here:
Lou Ferrigno makes a cameo appearance by the way. You'll know when you see him because the oldest half of the audience laughs with recognition. I couldn't understand the line he had in response to 'You're the man,' but in looking around online to find it I discovered he did the Hulk's voice for the film. Digitally altered to such a degree that literally anybody might have done it.
The suggestive scene? I think I spotted it. Bruce and Betty start kissing and it's obvious they're headed for sex, and Bruce's wristwatch pulse monitor starts going crazy and he has to back off because he'll hulk out if he gets that excited.
Which, hey, it's Liv Tyler. I might blow a gasket kissing her myself. I remember having the conversation one time about which superhero you'd want to be, and one of my answers was either the Michael Keaton Batman or Spiderman. Because those were the hottest girlfriends of any superhero movie I could think of (Kim Basinger circa 1989 and Kirsten Dunst with red hair respectively).
I guess I'd probably still give that answer, because chastity would pretty much ruin the fantasy.
But back to the flick. You can never tell on what level Mo is processing a movie. Or almost never. But there's a long chase scene early on and I heard her whispering, 'Go go go!'
And the climactic battle scene, she started covering her eyes during that and saying 'Trash!' (which is where you put the remnants of your concession stand snacks on the way out). I think there were two factors in this: one was the length of the movie, almost two hours. So some of that may have been 'I've had too much stimulation and I'd like to go now,' but I think it was more that she'd grown fond of this big green monster and was afraid he was about to get it.
She's too young to know that he can't die because they're obviously planning a sequel. Tony Stark (Iron Man) approaches General Ross in a coda building on a similar Coda to Iron Man. I was not a comic book reader growing up and have tried but failed to take it up as an adult. Still, an Avengers film with Robert Downey's Iron Man pitted against Ed Norton's Hulk does sound like fun.
Hopefully I didn't scar her for life. Percy Trout recently blogged this Youtube video:
I vividly remember watching this trailer when I would have been about five years old. I have a deep, irrational fear of spiders so intense that watching this impossibly bad trailer gives me the willies. I can tell they're pipe-cleaner spiders badly enlarged, but I literally can't watch this trailer through without averting my eyes. I don't think The Incredible Hulk probably did her in. On the way to the car I asked her what the Hulk says and she flexed her muscles and clenched her fists and roared adorably.
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