King Friday XIII

It was a simple cash advance at the bank. Not something I do much: in fact, I don't even know the PIN for my credit card. So I have to take the card to a bank lobby and give it to a live cashier. Which normally would probably be better than dealing with a machine, but...

I had a repairman coming for an estimate at 4:00 and my bank is less then two miles from home. I'd taken the afternoon off to accommodate the repairman and to run some errands like this stupid cash advance business.

I started this little transaction at 3:00. Right away, I could tell something had gone wrong. I knew it wasn't a problem with my account, but still.



Then after a few minutes passed, one employee flags another, and now they're tag-teaming the credit card machine. Then they're on the phone.

Then they're changing the tape.

About a half hour into this, I said, 'Surely this doesn't happen every time the tape runs out.'



They went on to explain the building was struck by lighting last night and the machine wasn't right.

This I could buy. I stayed late at work to finish some personal projects, and when I drove home I seriously wondered if I would be struck by lightning. It rained so hard it was impossible to drive over 20 mph on the highway. And the lightning was coming so fast and so violently, it felt like trying to get home through an aerial bombing assault. Squint to see in the dark, then get blinded by yet another flashbulb and physically jarred by the shock wave of thunder.

Still, 45 minutes to take a cash advance and deposit it? That's got to be some kind of record.

Then I realized, it was Friday the Thirteenth, and only a dork would have left the house.

So I took my dork self home for the repairman, who was late because he got lost following MapQuest directions.

Then when I got the girls, Mo had a seizure.

Recovering from her seizure, she still wanted to go to the Purple Park after Em was off on a sleepover leading into her 4H camp.



And I got a couple of launches in, but Scribble V drifted into a ball diamond that turned out to be padlocked. I don't know why, it's a public park, but me and Mo walked the circumference of it and all three entrances were locked.



There was a picnic table I could have climbed to get over the fence on the way in, but I feared I wouldn't be able to get out. I don't have that much upper body strength, and unlike the last time I climbed chain-link, my foot is now too large to insert in the diamonds of the fence.

Plus, I featured myself being stuck in the ball diamond when Mo decided to do something dangerous or have a seizure or whatever.

I had no folding money on me, but found 94¢ in my pocket. I offered this to a park rat to go get the rocket. Small, athletic, I figured he could climb the fence, did such things all the time.



He accepted my offer and went straight to the locked gate, jiggled it and it came open.

He promptly went and retrieved my rocket, earning every last penny in my pocket for having the instincts I clearly lack.