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Monday, February 16, 2009

Fake Holidays

Several times today, I heard customers (yes we still have those, recession or not), comment we were the only thing open.

On Presidents' Day?

What a fake holiday. I know it's about Lincoln and Washington, who are among the less toxic people who have held the office, but really: why would we ever want to celebrate any President of the United States? That's like having Small Pox Day or a Genocide Day. The National Day of In-Grown Toenails. Rubber Check Day, Castor Bean Poisoning Day, Food Stain Day.

The best thing I can say about our present 'leader' is he's honest enough to say he's screwed up. Which is not quite the same as doing anything right.

And the previous one is a war criminal by any standard. The one before that was a philandering idiot who did permanent damage to the impeachment mechanism by beating impeachment with irrefutable videotaped evidence (he may have been perjuring himself over a minor and private matter, but it was perjury no matter the definition of 'was').

Basically, even the best modern President I can think of, Reagan, sucked.

But if you want proof that Presidents' Day is a fake holiday, even faker than Martin Luther King's Birthday (some people honestly think MLK was a great man). When was the last time you heard of someone cooking a Presidents' Day turkey, having a Presidents' Day fireworks display or gathering around the Presidents Day tree? You don't decorate eggs, you don't go door to door in disguise begging for candy, you don't even get an invitation to a party at your Bahá'í friend's house to eat pie because Presidents' Day is not really a holiday.

The only good part about giving all those federal employees the day off with pay is at least for that one day, they can't fuck stuff up.

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