Überbiff

So me and Mo are going down the Yellow tube, meaning the two of us are on a two-person innertube.

The launch is tricky with us, because between the two of us, there's over 350 pounds of Midwest Rock Lobster aboard. Getting us over the lip is a job.

So the lifeguard doing the launch, he asks us if we want to go fast or slow.

Well, I had to open my big mouth: I said we never launched very fast, it just wasn't possible.

So he launched us fast. Really fast. It was awesome.



But we biffed. The last turn, when you've gotten up a good speed, the innertube wants to climb the left side of the chute. Go past 8-O'Clock, or so, and good luck hanging on. I'm face down in the water, going umpteen miles an hour, Mo's somewhere in the muddle, the innertube is flying, splash!

So we have to do it again, right?

And yeah, that mouth on me: I had to tell the kid, 'I thought you were going to launch us fast.'

So he did.

This time, it might be we made it to 10-O'Clock, or maybe it just felt like it, but we went high enough on the wall to actually fall hard on the floor of the tube.

I hit my knee pretty good, and momentarily thought I'd smash my face on the lip of the exit, but I guess I was moving fast enough that didn't happen.



The lifeguards working the exit were concerned, wanting to know if we were okay. They were a little on edge because the paramedics had already removed a kid with a head injury from a similar biff.

Mo seemed unphased; was eager to go again. My knees, especially the left, were telling me about it, but I felt intact.

So then, as we're climbing the stairs, Mo is rubbing her forehead and I see a big red area, where I think she must have hit her head. But she insists it doesn't hurt.



Getting in the car after the pool closed, I noticed my knee had a perceptible lump, like I'm going to have a glorious shiner there.

I asked Mo, repeatedly, 'Did you hurt your head?' 'Does your head hurt?' 'Did you bonk your melon?'

No, no, no, and no, according to her. At least at the pool.

When we got home, and I asked if her head hurt, she thought about it and said, 'Yesssss.'

I gave her some ibuprofen before bed.