Share the Road, Jackass!

I hate riding in Gardner. My friend, who's presently mayor, has been known to say, 'It's a nice place to live but I wouldn't want to visit there.' But when it comes to cycling, it often doesn't quite live up to that billing.

There is a hee-haw factor in Gardner. Not a big one, but a few guys with pickups who think the ending of Easy Rider is one of the best punchlines ever.

Then there's the farm dogs I might have had to outrun on 151st if tough talk hadn't (to my surprise) stopped them short.

But I make it into New Century and I'm home free, right? There's almost no traffic there in the evening, and in most places the road is wide enough it wouldn't matter. But in a stretch right up to 159th, it's pretty narrow. And there's an oncoming car, and then, all of a sudden, there's a semi inches from my left. Where 159th T'd up with New Century, I had a place to move over or this fucker would have driven me off the road.

I shouted, 'Dude!' and gave him my one fingered salute, but either he was too zonked on pills to notice or too busy laughing at me to be bothered.

Seriously, guy, if I could have caught up with you I'd have apologized for flipping you off. That was instinct, heat of the moment, you just about clocked me.

I'd have apologized and then said, 'Trucker Dude (whatever your name is), you drive trucks for a living, you're not out here for your health like me. I have kids. Would you want to explain to them that because you couldn't let off the gas for ten seconds until that oncoming car passed, I had to be greased? Would you want to go to your boss and explain that you put his company on the line for a huge liability because you couldn't pull your head out of your ass?'

And there's more, of course: would he want to empty out his 401k to defend himself against manslaughter charges and a wrongful death lawsuit?

Those ten seconds aren't looking so precious now, are they? Even if you assume cyclists are assholes who deserve what we get, the consequences of actually running us over surely outweigh the satisfaction.

So Trucker Dude, don't be afraid of that brake pedal. I want you to make a living, I want you to get your shit delivered on time, I do. But I have the same legal rights to that lane as you do, like it or not. And the same interest in (and right to) staying alive to provide for my kids.

By the by, something about this Gardner route is just fast. It's not very hilly, doesn't have many stop signs, anyway. I averaged 14.6 mph on a 13.3 mile route with a top speed of 31.1 mph (on the one real descent).