This Is a Job For __________!

I came out of Hancock in a good enough mood. I guess I'm a chump for superhero movies, but maybe moreso for a film that dares to be a little different. I won't include any spoilers here, but I totally didn't see the big plot twist coming. It hit me upside the head like an invincible wino.

Not a great movie, but good, solid escapism. Will Smith seldom disappoints. As with Johnny Depp, it's hard to tell if he's really that good or if he's just gotten better advice than the average Hollywood star. Or maybe someone tried to stop Eddie Murphy from making Best Defense and he just didn't listen. I can't claim to have seen an encyclopedic revue of Will Smith, Depp or probably anyone else who's made that many movies, but I can't recall every seeing a really suck-ass Will Smith movie.

The glow of seeing a good movie was short lived, however. I emerged from the theater to see two missed calls on my cell. It was high time I called the girls to tell them goodnight, but it turns out I was also being called because Mo had made good on her word from yesterday and had a seizure this afternoon. Then another one this evening.

Her neurologist is on vacation and we can't seem to get his office to adjust the medications until next Monday. Not that we've given up, and one doctor's vacation can't be an excuse for letting this continue. But while you can wish for the ability to reach through the phone and strangle someone until they comply with your wishes, it doesn't, far as I can tell, work that way.

But this is the entire appeal of superhero stories. If children identify with superheroes as a way of coping with their relative lack of power over their lives, parents are the ones who really need superheroes.

Why, if I was like Hancock, I could just fly to the vacationing neurologist and bully him. An Iron Man suit would work for this, too, but I personally would prefer the ability to literally shove someone's head up another someone's ass. That's as hilarious as it is brutal.

Better yet, be a superhero who's special power is to heal kiddos of hitherto incurable conditions.