Parade

The Johnson County Fair parade is something we don't generally miss. For one thing, it's one of the few things Mo doesn't sing-song 'No-no' to when you ask her if she wants to go to it.



'Wanna go to a parade?' gets 'Yess' in a growling grunt that reminds me of the voice they give the Incredible Hulk in the Ed Norton movie, the scene where the monster says, 'leave me alone' from the darkness.



But this year, Em was in the parade, marching with her cheerleading squad. This meant that instead of just getting up, dressed and downtown by 10:30, we also had to get Em's unruly mane into a high ponytail and get her to the staging area before 10:00. Which was a bit of an ordeal. Tears were shed, accusations of cruelty and hair-pulling were leveled against me. I knew part of it was just her nerves, and I knew that for any thirteen year old girl, Daddy helping you get ready for something so purely girlish must be awkward.



But I've had long hair, I've worn ponytails, and it's just a hair brush and a tie. Oh, and a ribbon, I've never worn one of those. Once it was done, she did one of those bipolar-esque 180's she specializes in and was thrilled with how she looked.



It seemed like we'd left plenty of time, but by the time we were actually in car with canvas chairs for me and Mo, morning meds administered to everyone including the dog, the dog's food and water put outside with him, etc., we were cutting it close.



As I crossed the viaduct, I saw they were already blocking off Main St., and I had to get on the other side of that to get us to the staging ground. Which meant a detour out to Waverly and over on Madison. I'm guessing this is five or six miles out of the way. I was stressing at that point, I'll admit it. I reasoned that since the entire law enforcement community was downtown blocking off the parade route, I could safely push the speed limit.



I looked down and realized I was doing 65 in a 35. I kept it under 50 over on Madison, if barely. I'm not clear on where the threshold between ordinary speeding and criminal reckless driving charges is, but driving highway speeds on a two-lane in town seemed like it might be on the far side of that threshold.



So then there's traffic, others trying to get to the same place, of course. And I understand that, I do. But then our luck is to be behind a truck who stops to let a stagecoach in to traffic. I know the stagecoach is getting ready for the parade, but couldn't it have cut into Madison two cars later?



Then they separate traffic for the horse-drawn stuff and the cars as you enter the staging grounds. But the guy in the pickup in front of me (an 80s Ford that had Cash for Clunkers written all over it) stopped to talk with the first traffic-direction guy for a long time. Then when he finally did move, it was barely. The horse-drawn lane was moving faster. Em is in the back seat stressing that she was supposed to already be there five minutes ago and this guy is driving like he doesn't want to get where he's going. Then there's another traffic guy with the glowing vest, and the truck stops to talk to him. And talk, and talk.



I laid on the horn. And kept laying on it. I don't know if the old fart in the truck had official business with the traffic control people, but if he needs to have a conference with them, he should find a parking space and walk over to them. He didn't move on account of my honking, probably to make a point about how he couldn't be hurried, and I wished to be a Coast Guard cutter so I could declare his truck a hazard to navigation and sink it.



I know I shouldn't have been running late. Story of my life.



Anyway, got Em dropped off, got parked, got our spot along the parade route staked out. Took a spot near the end, in the shade of the library. A mixed blessing, the shade was nice, but being at the end of the route, the various floats and entourages had quite a bit of separation by the time they got to us. And, once the tail of the parade had made it down Main, a lot of people came from there to get to their cars and walked through the parade itself. And a few cars pulled out into the parade before the motorcycle cops caught on and sealed off the library parking lot they were cutting through.



Em did a great job. The cheerleaders were hot and sweaty but still moving with precision and chanting loudly. Gotta be hard to keep that up for an hour as the mercury threatens 100ºF (it was 93ºF when the parade started, 98ºF when it ended, on its way to the 103ºF high we logged yesterday).



And as usual, a good parade. Saw my old friend Michelle from my last place of employment proudly riding her Harley. Well, I think she and her husband share it (read fight over who gets to ride it, but in a cute, playful way).








Saw some really cool bicycles, too. I think I recognize the guy on the upside down bike from Big O Tires, I'll have to stop in and ask him if he'd be interested in applying his welding talents to the front-wheel-drive recumbent I want...