But all of you decided to go to work Friday. Go figure.
And not one but a couple of you decided to get in wrecks that narrowed my route and slowed things to a standstill. And there's no call for it.
First off, all you guys with four wheel drive, and your vehicles ought to be delivered with permanently affixed neon warning labels to this effect, but four wheel drive only helps you get moving on slippery roads. It does fuckall for your ability to steer or stop. You are not invincible and neither is the poor guy you just clobbered while entertaining a fantasy that the pavement is actually dry even though there's so much snow on it you can't see the lane markers.
Second, we have you schmucks who seem to have an almost sexual attraction for the car in front of you: you are following too close even when the weather is nice. I've seen you, standing on it at 75 mph, so close to my back bumper I can't see your headlights. As far as I'm concerned, your license should be permanently revoked, and if you manage to avoid conviction on attempted murder charges, you get a 10% discount on a bus pass for life. Asshole.
And finally, you guys who wait to merge: you are not getting there any faster. But you are making the rest of us later as the column of traffic that had been creeping along at 10 mph comes to a shuddering halt so you can get in line like you should have half a mile back. Contrary to what you seem to believe, you are not more important than everyone else on the road, and it is not more important you get to wherever it is you are going. You don't have to face attempted murder charges, but you don't get a discount on the bus pass. You're not allowed to drive anymore. Ever.
For real, I don't know what excuses these jerks offered the cops, or if the cops bought the excuses, but nobody should have been in the ditch Friday morning. If you were, you either don't know how to drive or you had the bad luck to be driving near someone who doesn't know how to drive. Let's reduce greenhouse gas emissions by getting these yahoos off the road altogether.
Okay, yeah, I had my camera out, multi-tasking behind the wheel. I'll eat some crow when I get so involved in documenting the stupidity of my fellow man that I end up the one in the ditch.
1 comment:
Re: The four-wheel-drivers, the tailgaters and the late mergers:
I used to think these were problems just where I lived, but then I lived in enough places to realize it's the same everywhere.
The worst problem these days, I think, is the tailgaters. Because when they're that close, you can see in your rear-view mirror that they're talking on their cellphones, probably to one another.
So amen, brother, to the bus passes.
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