Fantasy Girl From Ipanema

Since I didn't get a name or phone number, and since I suppose it's possible she's actually in high school, the chick from the Shakespeare Festival is now an element of pure fantasy.

I know, it's pitiful, her getting her chocolate in my peanut butter so thoroughly in a combined total of less than ten minutes, but damn. She was what Willis was talkin' about.

So I've tried to flesh out the rest, the sort of perfect woman thing. Like what kind of job does she have? What hobbies? Favorite books, movies, foods, etc. What would make her absolutely Eve to my Adam?

For the job, I think things like artist. But that's too close to this chick I really had a crush on not long ago, who's actually an artist. As in she teaches it and has shown her paintings on three continents. So then I think things like big game poacher, but realize that's not the most ideal job, it's the most ludicrous. See also tropical hardwood smuggler (she's from Brazil, remember?), see also arms dealer. Though that led to one that really would be perfect for me: she's not really from Brazil, she's Peruvian Shining Path rebel in exile who's seen the error of her Communist ways and embraced American Capitalism and now owns a brewpub.

Another really great job would be heiress. And she refused the job of Supermodel because she hates thongs. I adore women who could wear them, and the Amazon from the Shakespeare Fest certainly could, but flossing your ass that way is gross no matter how great your caboose is.

I don't think I care as much about what her favorite books are as long as she has favorite books. If she thinks books are something you're done with when you leave school, she's gotta head back to Sao Paulo without me. This is fantasy, remember, so she probably watches TV less than an hour a week like me, though it is entirely allowable for her to have memorized certain movies (and not necessarily the same ones as me).

And if she asked me to call her back after American Idol, well... I dropped a chick for that one time, but it wasn't a Brazilian could-be-Supermodel with a charming accent who's at Shakespeare in the Park.