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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Yes, spambots found me.

I could go in and nuke the spam response I got to my last post, but I just activated the anti-spambot feature at blogger and I'm not going to worry any more about it at this point.

The 'War on Drugs' gives us an illustration that, given demand, ferocious and sophisticated methods of interception only meet with the same. The big difference between cocaine and spam advertising is that some people actually want to buy cocaine. It's a comparatively beneficial thing, and I'd be gleeful if the resources now being wasted on drug interdiction would be directed at the assholes who generate spam, computer viruses, etc.

And I marvel, as with the e-mail come-ons for sneaky-pete prescription painkillers: who falls for these things? I realize the investment end is smaller than with traditional junk mail models that require physical postage, but I can't believe this can be done profitably.

Before I installed Spam Assassin on my domain, I was getting hundreds of comeons for Oxycontin. Viagra, lots of e-mails trying to sell that too.

For the sake of argument, let's say I wanted to party with some synthetic opiates and erectile dysfunction drugs. And what's more, let's assume I'm not smart enough to trick a doctor that I can't get it up and it's wrecking my marriage. And not smart enough to fake pain symptoms that can't easily be disproven to get a script for some high-power stuff. So let's assume I'm drug seeking, terrible at acting and can't be bothered with figuring out how to fake symptoms but want the drugs.

I'm going to give my credit card number to some anonymous e-mailer and wait for it to come in the mail? Please.

First off, if I was the DEA, I'd be sending these e-mails out just to find good people to stake out. Got to keep prisons a growth industry, right? Without such tactics, they'd never catch a guy who can't fake back pain or impotence.

Second, if I pay whatever they're asking for via my credit card, and the dope doesn't come, what do I do? Call the cops and say I got burned on a drug deal? I know credit card companies offer good protection against fraudulent charges, but I bet the fine print includes something to the effect that you're on your own if the fraudulent charges originated from an attempt to break the law. The last think CitiBank wants is to be fightng on behalf of people trying to use interstate commerce to violate federal laws.

Then again, if you're so inadequate as a human being that you can't get dope through normal channels (the pharmacy, or maybe an ice cream truck if you fancy grass, heroin and cocaine), what are the odds you'd think these things through? I saw an episode of 'COPS' one time, where, no kidding, a woman hailed the cops to bust a woman in a house who'd taken $20 from her for some crack cocaine, then didn't provide the drugs. She wanted the Las Vegas police to make this woman give her the dope she'd paid for.

And my friend who's a cop, he was a detective for a while, and got the walk-in report from a person who wanted to file a complaint against someone for stealing their stash of pot. 'I'd love to take that report,' he says. 'Because as soon as you sign it, you're swearing you had posession of a controlled substance, and I'll bust you. Then I'll go hunt down the guy who stole it, and we'll send you both away for the same stash.'

You have to make allowances for my friend. Because he's a cop, he's been indoctrinated to think the narcotics laws can be enforced. He's also not going to give up his job for malfeasance to benefit the sort of idiot who comes to the station house to report that their contraband was stolen.

I'm sure whoever it was went home and gave a credit card number to some spam e-mail offering high times at reasonable prices...

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