This is the famous 'Fight Club' question that Tyler and Jack kick back and forth. Someone I know picked P. Diddy for apparently dropping the 'P' because it was getting between him and his fans.
Which I think is hilarious on so many levels. An initial that isn't even short for the guy's 'real' name couldn't get between anything except him and reality. This guy is apparently the same guy that was once Puff Daddy, also known as Sean Jean.
Which is where it gets even funnier. The source for this information is not People magazine or anything like that. I heard about this from an educated white guy, about my age (middle 30s) who lives in Europe. How is it he's even heard of this rapper, whatever his name is? And he's picked, on account of this dropped initial thing, Diddy (I guess it's just Diddy now), as the guy he'd fight.
I've been thinking about this, too, from a standpoint of who would I fight? If I could fight just one person, engage in fisticuffs for the first time, since I've been old enough to vote.
I'm not a violent person, I've held back from hitting people who really deserved to be shot or dragged behind a pickup down a gravel road.
Michael Moore is out, not because I have any respect for him, but because it's both too obvious and because he's maybe the only guy on earth who's fatter and softer than me physically. Not a worthy adversary at all.
Likewise, Al Gore, George Bush, Hilary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, and other political figures. They're too old, too fat, and too used to body guards making sure they don't even muss their hair getting out of the limo. It just wouldn't be sportsmanlike to fight those cunts.
Schwarzenegger is off, too. He's got too much muscle tone left from his juicing days, and it'd be too embarrassing to get killed by mis-matching too far the other way. Besides, he's married to a Kennedy, which is punishment enough, and Caulifournyeah really couldn't have a more fitting Gov.
Paris Hilton would be fun, but I doubt she'd put up much of a fight, so then I'd just look like some asshole battering a feeble-minded blonde.
Oh! Got it. I'd fight Tom Cruise. He's a few years older than me, but works out, so we're probably more or less an even match. He thinks a wide range of extremely helpful pharmaceuticals should be thrown out on the basis of no medical knowledge, and people listen to him because he's famous. And after throwing over an embarrassing list of gorgeous Hollywoood beauties, he's now hooked up with a chick over ten years younger than me, so he's practically a kiddie-toucher
So I'm calling you out, Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. No shirt, no shoes, no belt, no body guards, we fight until one of us can't keep going. And before you come, you might tell your child-prisoner/fiancé to see if she can get a deal on Christopher Reeves' old wheelchair.
7 comments:
Sadly, P Ditzy has plagued Europe also. As has most of American “culture”. Yes, even just hours away from Paris (France) when one hears “Paris” we may first question, “the mega-star with *no* talent aside from genetics?”…sick, no?
The “news” came from a top “headline” on my My Yahoo page. A certain way to keep up to date with the crumbling of civilization. It’s not just real news that paves the smooth road to hell.
Sadly my choosing to pummel Mister Combs (if that’s even his real name) is for the wrong reasons; it would be more like “jack” kicking-shit out of (I forget his name) “Angel”? i.e. Once he’s down I’m still gonna get some shots in.
Not because it would be a good fight. Same with Fat Joe.
Maybe all rappers.
Please.
Have at least a GED before the world makes you a millionaire.
I honestly can’t think of someone I’d fight for the right (i.e. homo-erotic, male bonding _Fight Club_ esque) reasons. Most of whom I loathe are out of my age-range, so denting Stephen King’s (Jack Nicholson’s, Sean Connery’s etc etc) head would be more criminal than cathartic.
Good pick on Cruise. Can I throw Dianetics books at him from the sidelines?
…Maybe if Puffy took off some of the bling-bling fewer objects would stand between him and his fans.
…sigh…
Over here in Euro-land, free of millions and millions of useless cable channels (but of course different packages and satellites can be bought) there are, sadly, also a few telly-things that we miss – although I do just prefer to read a book, if accessible, some of this stuff is worth the 30 minutes it takes.
Anyway, Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, now made watchable since Jon Stewarts’ takeover, is one of them. Unfortunately it’s a whittled down weekly edition, “The Daily Show: Global Edition”.
A week’s “best of”, I guess.
The kicker of it is: it’s on CNN.
I kid you not. A news parody show gets airtime on a “news” network. The first time I saw it on there I though I was in some Twilight Zone type scenario.
Or I was being “punk’d”.
So, that and The Dave Chappelle Show (on Mtv…which in a way is just as weird, but the M hasn’t stood for “music” in many years…) are the only two things that give my VCR any work.
Shit, this is more like writing a blog for myself…
ANYWAY: Stewart chose to lead off this week with the “P. Diddy” story. So I’m glad I wasn’t alone if shaking my head with a “is this *really* news!!??” thought…
What you're doing is sometimes referred to as parablogging. There was another term, I forget what it was, that was applied when a guy who subscribes to Max Barry's blog decided to use replies to Max's blogs rather than set up one of his own.
One of the beauties of blogging is it's a great opportunity to vent. You can pretend you have no audience or an audience of one (and in my case, that's pretty much the case). And even using StatCounter's details, I can't tell if Anonymous Midwest Girl is from Lincoln, NE, Detroit, MI, or somewhere in Ohio. She's that anonymous, despite having a blog that gets more 'comments' than I get in hits.
I’m content remaining blog-free. I detest the idea of a ‘speaker’s corner’ and basically any form of exhibitionism, while I’ll ‘speak’ somewhat publicly here – which are more replies than “audition night at the Improv”-, and on one of two message boards (rapping on specific themes *not* on General Shite), but I have *no* desire to just broadcast random poop.
Without being paid.
So the para-blog was more just setting up what I really wanted to say, as the situation was pretty non-US.
All that said, these brief stints with ‘the public’ are getting between me and myself, so since there is an extra “p” in the world now, I proclaim myself:
pj.
It works on the self-loathing side too since “Family Circus” *has* to be one of the most evil things mankind has ever created…
An interesting point about being paid. How many words of my stunning prose have I just given away here?
Shit, I'm giving away the store. Except that my novel is (I hope) better than the brain drippings I post here.
Except that my novel is (I hope) better than the brain drippings I post here.
Then get to it!!!
I always feel a bit of guilt in inciting you onto further emails/blogs/replies…
I just put in a 12 hour day of intense-focus. It's martini-time, so to speak, though in this instance it's a splash of whiskey. When I was doing that first draft, I wrote some parts when I was burned out at the end of a day, and the results were miscarriages of prose. The reason it's such a jigsaw now is the masssive number of things that I've re-thought and changed my mind about. So I've got sections that refer to stuff that no longer happened, other things that have happened that have to be reconciled.
Which isn't to say I'm not working on it. I make connections, imagine scenes, change them up, etc., in my mind all the time. I figure that I dug more holes for myself when I wrote at times when I hadn't though things through, or when I was out of focus.
By the same token, when an idea comes on strong and I feel like I can do the manuscript some good, I don't fuck around with my blog.
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