Meta-Stupidity

I got curious and looked at the keyword analysis on my counter. I made this mistake once before, finding such keywords as 'hot gusshing orgasm,' with the double-s mispelling.

So, what search engine clues are leading people to me?

• 5.41% why am i getting so much tightness in my chest


• 5.41% work songs kuwait chanties


• 2.70% fully exposed paris hilton


• 2.70% haunted hoses in massachusetts


• 2.70% pic off nasty olds 442


• 2.70% bangladeshi porno album


• 2.70% dark meat white treat pimp my black teen


• 2.70% is it secure to let any body make copy of my credit card


• 2.70% what shoe store sells camoflauge shoes for kids

Okay, that top one: I hope you're not fucking dead, because if you're having the kind of tightness in your chest that I had before my heart attack, the last thing you need is my blog. You're not even using the right machine: a computer is a very awkward way to call 911. You need an ambulance, not a Lobster.

Some of the others, I don't know what to say. I didn't know Kuwait had a nautical tradition that would account for chanties and bawdy folk tunes. Paris Hilton has fully exposed herself in so many places, I can't imagine anyone looking here. Or why they're looking. She's showing herself off so aggressively, you shouldn't need to search.

The only haunted hose I know of in Massachusetts is Ted Kennedy's.

The Olds 442 is a classic, and I can't imagine one being nasty or trying to pick them off. Is this a sign I've been visited by some highway sniper?

As far as Bangladeishi porn and/or 'dark meat' (I presume from context clues that someone was looking for young, nekkid black chicks), sorry man, wrong number.

And no, it's not secure to go letting people copy your credit card, not even if they promise to sell you camouflage shoes for your kid.