Lucky Thirteen!

Today, I've been married to Frau Lobster for thirteen years. She's tried, but failed, to find the ladder to the oubliette's door.

And I’m glad. I’m not about to show her the ladder. Besides, I welded the oubliette’s door shut as a child-proofing measure.

When they had the bridal shower for Frau Lobster, most of the women there were girls I’d dated at least marginally in my high school years. Others, I’d hit on and failed. And their mothers, who, of course, knew all about me.

So the future Frau Lobster walked in to be introduced as the girl who was marrying me.

Oooooh! Came the nervous unison

My wife took this as surprise, but actually it was relief. I was off the prowl, officially, and they could relax and holster their pepper gas and taser guns.

We dated for several years prior to marriage, so she can’t claim she didn’t know what she was getting into. Well, no more than I can, anyway.

But thirteen has been a lucky number for us. We have two daughters born on the 13th, thirteen months apart. I wanted to go for a hat-trick, but Frau Lobster isn’t that triskadekaphilic.