Salt On My Wound

Last time I had a bit of an injury from riding, when my iliotibial band was acting up after I set a personal speed record at the airport, 'active recovery' seemed to really work. I did an easy Trek recovery ride, followed by a Brewery Ride I took it easy on. Dr. Jill worked her voodoo on my leg in the Brewery after, I iced it down when I got home and I was right as rain the next day.

So when my left leg was feeling gimpy after Sunday's 102.2 miler, I figured no reason to skip the Trek ride. The problem was, I think, an inflamed hamstring tendon, inflamed by the cramps I got in my left hamstring at around mile 60 on Sunday.

Once I got warmed up on the Trek ride, it felt great. I didn't have any reserves, and the muscles were sore, but I didn't feel particularly injured. I planned to do the Brewery Ride and maybe even add on a leg to it on Tuesday evening.

Then I got up on Tuesday morning and as soon as I sat up I knew I'd made a Mistake. It was tender when I extended my leg. It was tender when I went from sitting to standing or the other way around. And despite my efforts to eat a hole in my stomach with ibuprofen all day, it only got worse.

I called Dr. Jill for advice after finding contradictory and varied advice on the internet, and she encouraged me to take the day off. And I know first hand that she knows her way around the human body too well for me to easily dismiss her advice. (I didn't mean it that way, get your minds out of the gutter, people!)

So fighting my Y Chromosome which wanted to at least make an effort to ride, see how it felt once the muscles were warm, I ignored the taunting of my inner cave man (who was telling me to quit being a pussy and ride) and went to see Salt for five bucks, went home and iced the heck out of my leg.

As gimpy as I was yesterday, I was astonished to awaken this morning and realize, as surely as I knew the Trek ride was a mistake, that I had done the right thing watching Angelina Jolie kill more people than an Ebola outbreak. I saw someone wrote up Salt as if this was a departure for her, but really, it's not that different from Wanted. And that wasn't really her first femme fatale role, either, was it?

Thing about Jolie, all her features are so extremely beautiful they threaten to cross the line into ugly. Those lips, they're huge, and I want to kiss them. But another micro-gram of collagen injected into them and the effect would be...Mick Jagger. Ditto those enormous eyes and high cheekbones. That girl has a bit of Roswell in her blood, I'm pretty sure.

But Angelina has gotten me to plunk down my hard earned money for more than one only pretty-good film and I never seem to feel cheated. Liv Tyler has the same effect on me. Amanda Peet probably would, too, if they'd put her in a leading role. I bet Amanda would look great with a gun or trying to escape some mysterious evil.

And, after all, I had handed my Y chromosome one defeat already by not riding, so I had to let it pick Salt over The Other Guys.

Anyway, between the rest, the ice, the Advil and imagining scenarios that would make Brad Pitt want to go all Fight Club on me seems to have healed my left leg. I should be able to ride at least the 20 Lockton is doing tomorrow evening. I don't care if it s 101ºF, I'm invincible. Or maybe just loony.