Sock Puppet Party & The Eyebrow Farm

Sock Puppet Theater from Chixulub on Vimeo.

I love little kids. When one of my friend's daughters came into the soiree at Tomato Town, she asked, 'What are all the pipe cleaners for?'



I could have said, 'Sock puppets,' which would have been true. Instead I told her, 'We're going to use them to clean our pipes, then we're teaching you kids to smoke.'

She didn't say anything to that.

Another friend's honyock, I've been pulling his leg about the Eyebrow Farm for months now. And doing the 'chickenbutt' thing. You know what?



He took the bait about fifty times in one day last summer, at one point throwing himself face first into the grass because he couldn't believe he'd fallen for it again.

He walked in and I said, 'You know what?'



And reflex, he said 'What?'

'Chickenbutt.'

He glowered at me. I tried again a couple times, but just got the stink-eye.



Then, after the puppet show, he sat down by me and I said, 'You know what?'



And he said, 'What?' And then I saw his expression darken. I could totally read his four year old mind: I said 'What' to Rod again! Ugh!



And I said, 'I really liked your puppet show.'

He was bowled over. I should have tried it again and done the chickenbutt thing, but instead I asked him if he's gotten around to visiting the Eyebrow Farm yet.



He said he hadn't, and didn't believe there was one. I've told him all about how people are born without eyebrows and have to have them implanted before they leave the hospital. Most people are okay with one go, but sometimes they keep a baby at the hospital for weeks, trying repeatedly to successfully graft the eyebrows on.



The pipe cleaner kid asked me what I was talking about, so I asked her if she's ever been on a field trip to the Eyebrow Farm. She looked at me quizzically.



I said, 'You know, where they grow all the eyebrows? You don't think they just grow on faces do you?'





The party was decorated with the most amazing balloon animals, courtesy of Ted the magician. It was a great party, even aside from sock puppets and messing with little honyocks. Some people have suggested to me that Eyebrow Farm lore is torture for kids, but I say it's just the training wheels for fiat currency and fractional reserve banking. If you're going to believe in nonsense, you have to start young.