Devils and Black Sheep, Really Bad Eggs: These Are My People

I love Halloween. I mean, seriously: when I was going through custody mediation, this one was a no-brainer. We trade off most holidays, ever other year. I gave the artist formerly known as Frau Lobster an all-you-can-Easter buffet in exchange for a Halloween monopoly.

Make love not war, me hearties.

I love Halloween.

I love the costumes, the trick-or-treating, the weather turning cool and the leaves shot with color. I love the scary and the pseudo-scary, I love it all.

Yet I am a forgetful soul. For instance, I forgot to buy pumpkins to carve last weekend (the last logical time to do so). I did take them costume-hunting then, so I'm not sure what neuron failed to grasp that it would be a tragedy of immense proportions if we missed on carving pumpkins.

When we were costume hunting, Mo lookedd at this curly clown wig, a Neopolitan rug, and at this pig-demon face rubber mask. I figured she'd either find the mask intolerable or addictive (the latter turns out to be the winner). I said, 'Well, do you want to be a clown or a pig?'

'Pig-Clown.' And so she was.

Em decided against her original plan to be Elizabeth Swan, I think because she was shocked at how common this Pirates of the Caribbean thing is. She got a goth vampire thing and a red devil wig.

We trick-or-treated the neighborhood, then the Adequate Mall. I asked a chick at the mall if her costume was Employee of the Month at Hot Topic, and she said she was a fairy princess.

Can fairy princesses also be Wearers of Black?

When I picked the honyocks up, we went to Price Chopper to seek pumpkins for carving, but they were all gone. This is the Halloween analog to shopping on Christmas Eve, except I've done that, too, and I know for an honest fact that other people do it too. I knew I hadn't seen any pumpkins at Stuff-Mart. We headed to the Pumpkin patch, but they close ridunculously early. Then we went to Voigts and got three awesome pumpkins for a very modest price.

Em carved her own. I cut out the lids, then let them have some fun scooping pumpkin guts. Mo would still be doing this, I think, if we still had pumpkins to work with. Mo took her stab at it, literally, and I helped out. I think both kids went to bed with all ten fingers, so I guess it went well.

Em was skeptical of my scheme to roast the seeds. Then, when she tried the finished product, she decided they were at least edible, and possibly a substitute for popcorn. Then she said she preferred to just suck them and spit them out. She's a pretty picky eater but if it's a delivery system for butter and salt...

Mo really seemed to like the feel of her rubber mask. Those things are frighteningly hot, but she wouldn't take it off until we were back and ready to carve. She almost fell down the stairs, too, because you can't see so well out of them.

The only thing Mo loved more than that was scooping pumpkin guts. I think if I'd bought fifteen or twenty of them, hacked the lids off and let her go at it, she'd have gutted them all too. I think she dug the feel of the stringy and the seeds. Not so much that I didn't have to watch her with the knives.

Em really loved her red devil wig. When it was time to shower and get ready for bed, she didn't want to have to take off the wig. I can relate: I enjoy my costumes, too. I'm not sure what it says about me that the eye patch and earring are the only parts of my costume that I wouldn't normally wear to work.