Why I Should Wear PJs...

I'll cop to it, I go commander between the sheets. Have since before I could get girls to talk to me, so it's not a sex thing. I just have to be wild and free in order to fall asleep. Or to fall asleep without the assistance of the distilling industry anyway.

So this would be me, except it wasn't.

A few years back, I woke up to a house fire. Well, no I didn't. I woke up to the artist formerly known as Frau Lobster telling me the house was on fire. She did the stuff you're supposed to do, get out and call 911. I did what you're not supposed to do, get a fire extinguisher the size of a pencil and fight the fire myself.

They don't mention clothes when they tell you not to try putting it out. I guess they figure you're just as stupid to fight it nekkid as dressed. But 'They' don't factor in a department of public safety that is supposed to be a police force, fire department and ambulance, all in one. And with one bullet (Andy insists it be kept in a pocket) for their gun.

I had a neighbor who had a fire about the same time. His was a grease fire, and he thought he could get the skillet of flaming grease tossed out his back door. Instead he ended up spraying flaming grease across the kitchen wall and burning the shit out of his hand.

We had the same contractor hired by the insurance people to fix our houses, but he went with this blood-red shag carpet that was probably worse than the fire damage, but anyway...