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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

eBay of Pigs

I went to buy a side of beef online, and I got ripped off big-time. Wow. You'd think there'd be a law against masquerading as something you're not.

For instance, if you wanted an electric guitar with nothing to recommend it except that Leo Fender made it improperly himself instead of contracting for some political prisoner in Asia make it improperly, and money was no object, you could go online and buy a vintage Strat with total security, right?

Right? Beuller? Bueller?

I actually went to buy something off eBay tonight and my credit card was declined. Oh wait, that wasn't me, that was some pathetic guy in England. How insecure do you have to be to pay the price of a car to make sure the girl not only can't compare you to past men, but (being a dyke) won't be rating you against future ones? There are Al Queda suicide-bombers who have more confidence with girls.

Still, at least the creepy brit wasn't seeking non-human ass.

Gawd, that's terrible. Can't wait to see what search-engine gremlins that stirs up.

Oh, why not include the inflatable legs?

And Em gets outraged when I suggest eyebrow farming and mustache ranching? If peaches can come from a can, why can't eyebrows come from a field?

1 comment:

Justine said...

absolutely!