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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Anniversary Schmanniversary

Yesterday what media I was exposed to mainly focused on the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It was (as it is every year) tiresome, an unenlightening recount of the white-washing of that era in America's empire building.

The 'greatest' generation of chain-smokers, functional alcoholics, the last to use the word 'nigger' in so-called polite company, to consider (no matter how well-educated) domestic violence simple discipline, etc., they got their day in the filler segments of the news.

Today? What could be more fitting than the resurrection of a drug addicted, self-centered, talentless schmuck of the Boomer generation? Despite having no talent for singing, playing the guitar, or composing music, John Lennon was compensated beyond the dreams of avarice. In typical Boomer style, he advocated 'socialism' while hoarding sums that would embarrass Rockefeller or Vanderbilt. He validated and/or promoted by his words and actions, the very worst the Boomers ahd to offer. As noted above, I don't deny there were valid things to rebel against for someone coming of age int he 1960s, but the enemy of your enemy is not necessarily your friend, and the Boomers are, as a generation, a sorry lot.

Please tell me tomorrow isn't going to be the anniversary of when Kurt Cobain's suicide. Cobain was smart enough to understand that perpetual celebrity, as well as power, can come from the barrel of a gun.

The Lennon thing reminds me of the JFK hoopla. 'Who shot John Kennedy?' people ask. I think the reason conspiracy theories on that one are so enduring is it's hard to find anyone who didn't have a motive. Hell, he'd given Jackie-O reason to take out a contract on his worthless head. And as with Lennon, JFK and his brother Booby (not a txpo) are mainly remembered because they were shot.

Please, I beg, do not assassinate the following people:

  • George W. Bush

  • Bill Clinton

  • Hillary Clinton

  • Al Gore

  • Jimmy Carter

  • King Bush I

  • Eminem

  • Bill O'Reilly

  • Rush Limbaugh

  • Stephen King

  • Anne Rice

  • Prince Charles

  • Another Beatles Member

  • Paris Hilton

  • Pat Robertson

  • Any Pope

  • The Governator

  • Rob Reiner

  • Barbara Streisand

  • Connie Chung

  • Jane Fonda

  • Al Sharpton

  • Laudacris

  • Brittany Spears

  • Brad Pitt

  • Angelina Jolie

  • Any Member of Van Halen/VanHagar

  • Eric Estrada

  • Me

  • Garth Brooks

  • Any NASCAR Driver

  • Woody Allen

  • Any NBA player

  • George Stephanopoulos

  • Al Franken

  • Martha Stewart

  • Sean Penn

  • Sinead O'Connor

  • Tom Cruise (I'm still waiting to fight him)

  • Heidi Klum

  • An Olsen Twin

  • J-Lo

  • Orlando Bloom

  • Mariah Carey

  • Woody Harrelson

  • Etc.


I only include myself on the list because I've done little of note and out of a sense of self-preservation.

If you're going to murder someone, at least do a registered sex offener or a nut-job willing to make a celebrated martyr out of Sean Penn.

Sarah Vowell summed it up nicely in describing both Presidents and people who assassinate Presidents, that both type sof people raise the same question of (paraphrasing), 'Who do you think you are???'

2 comments:

j_ay said...

Nice to see someone else not „love“ John Lennon. I detest the Beatles. Sadly I don’t think JL’s legacy is in only by being shot (which is pretty fucking scary, and further proof that _The Catcher in the Rye_ is just a bad book) [unless my memory is misfiring whatshisname was either reading CitRye when he decided to kill JL (and)/or he was reading it while standing there waiting for JL], fuck knows Paul McCartney, who makes me ill, is continually celebrated and allowed to make some of the most insipid music to come along. Harrison was, thankfully, a behind the scenes guy (and gets props for helping Monty Python along) while Ringo is also still seen as some music god when he was never even barely-adequate. Props to him for ‘playing’ a Frank Zappa-type in the loony _200 Motels_ but please, Ringo, enough.

Chixulub said...

Funny you should mention Harrison helping MP along: the Peter Sellers/Ringo Starr adaptation of 'Magic Christian' (a terrible flick, no matter how right Sellers was in praising Southern's finest work) included the nucleus of what was soon to become Monty Python.

I think my favorite Beatle is that 5th one. Whoever he was, I can never remember. The only good Beatle is a forgotten Beatle.

I didn't realize 'Catcher' had a role in the martyrdom of Lennon, but yeah, that would be another strike against the book. Like that sory piece of shit needed another kick.