An Ignatius Moment and the Sorrows of Nicotine

So I'm on I-35 and I see one of those Scion XBs, or so I thought. I actually like them, for all their boxiness. They're inexpensive, fuel efficient, and they have nice big doors to accomodate big fat guys like me. Even the back seat doors are enormous compared to the portholes they give you with most sedans. Getting in and out of even some 'luxury sedans' is a painful Yoga exercise for a guy like me. Yeah, I know, I need to hit the gym, and I don't have any interest in the shuck and jive that is the luxury auto biz.

I even made my wife come test drive one with me, not that I'm in any position to take on a car payment. She found it tinny, toy-like, and noisy. She hated it. She thought it was underpowered as well.

But wait, this car I'm seeing, I have this Ignatius Reilly moment. I cried out, 'Oh my God, do I believe what I am seeing?' Someone had decorated this XB with Mercedes logos. I might have thought it was a cute joke, but people get nuts customizing these XBs. They put subwoofers in them so they can assault neighborhoods with rap, pay extra to have the cloth upholstery (comfortable) removed in favor of multi-colored imitation leather (ugly AND uncomfortable). They take an econobox with a sensible design and make it expensive.

It gets better, even more of an Ignatius moment when I find out Mercedes Benz actually makes it's own XB, except they call it a G series or something. "Who is responsible for this abortion?" I bellowed at the screen, noting the MSRP of the (not underpowered) 400+hp version of the XB. Over a hundred grand, and I don't care if you put a Formula I engine in it, its still an econobox, only the Mercedes people have the gall to pull some shuck and jive routine and get you to pay enough to buy a FLEET of Scion XBs for one of their versions.

Of course, like Ignatius, I tend to think that psychiatry is worse than Communism and that new cars are not something to be desired. In Reilly terms, when I see a Hummer H2, I see an obvious lack of inner life. Plus, someone has a huge monkey on their back insuring and paying interest on an overpriced van that looks tough but probably never even climbs a curb.

On the bright side, I heard about a couple of news sources that seem pretty hip and cool. Listening to BBC Word Service radio, I heard mention of Buzz Tracker and News Map, both of which provide news in formats that take advantage of the inherent advantages of the internet. Check them out, they don't just look like a newspaper on screen.

A completely un-Ignatius thing. I've been wanting a cigarette lately. This is a habit that absolutely ruled my life at one time, averaging 3-1/2 to 4-1/2 packs of nonfilters a day. I've been quit for ten years, and I'm a heart attack survivor, so there's no reason why I should light up. Is it the nicotine? I don't think so, at this point. Sure, my brain has the neuro-receptors ready and waiting for it, but of all the drugs you can become dependent on, nicotine has about the worst benefit to cost ratio.

Nicotine does not provide a rush like cocaine or heroin, it doesn't really even alter your mood like booze or pot. When you light up, you're just appeasing the craving. When I want a cigarette, I know that smoking one will only fix that for maybe an hour. Then less than an hour. Next thing, I'll be lighting one off the last like I was when I quit. Plus, it's expensive, smells offensive, stains the beard and teeth, freaks out children, and causes all sorts of health problems. I'd be better off smoking a rock of crack, seriously,

I just have to keep reminding myself how bad the withdrawals were. I won't do that twice. Ever minute of every day for the rest of my life was worse than its predecessor, that was true for months. So I can have a smoke as soon as I want to give in to compulsive chainsmoking for the short rest of my life.