Sexy Squash

So I went out to pollinate our zucchini and summer squash. I'd heard you should do this first thing in the morning, so I made sure to be out in the garden by the crack of noon.

I found a male flower, that was easy (doesn't have a fruit leading up to it, just hangs out on the end of a tendril. The idea is to peel off the outer blossom, then take the flowery penis, and stick it in as many female flowers as possible in hopes of greater squash yields. But all the female flowers were closed up tight, I guess because I didn't listen to that part about first thing in the morning.

It was remarkably like human sexuality: the male part was easy to find and obvious in its workings; the female was difficult to find and uncooperative once found.