B-52s

You connected the dots there, huh? The whole Midwest Rock Lobster thing starts with that song, and a classmate with enormous boobs in 7th grade who was into the B-52s, and my lifetime pal Mayhem suggesting we smoke some Rice Crispies and go to Lobster Land.

We went to the Dot. Everyone had a pager for a chain restaurant...

Okay, that won't work.

We trekked out to the Legends at Village West free concert deal. Retro Music Festival, I think they called it, but to me, it was a chance to hear the B-52s live. I still love them, even if Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson are no longer young enough or svelte enough for those costumes.

For starters, it takes forever to get there. I wouldn't have burned the gas, but a free concert. And I thought my kids would dig it, even though Em insists she hates the B-52s. She hates them based on me trying to get her to listen to the song Rock Lobster. If I like it, it must be poison.

Parking was at the Speedway, with shuttles to bring people in to what really amounts to a strip mall parking lot. I figured, music festival: funnel cakes, hot dog vendors, etc. If I had a thunder of a hunger for the Outback Steakhouse, I'd have been set. Or if I had the dough for sushi, or the patience to wait 35 minutes for a table at Cheeseburger in Paradise.

I had been thinking 'free concert.' But clearly, the idea was 'generate traffic for the restaurants.'

Seeing the B-52s in middle age reminds me of seeing Steppenwolf play Worlds of Fun back in the 80s. John Kay chewed gum while he sang. They tried to do new material, but the audience wasn't having it, and in fairness to the band: given a choice between singing Magic Carpet Ride and Born To Be Wild every night for decades on end on the one hand, and honest work on the other...well, if you saw the members of Steppenwolfe circa 1984, you'd know honest work wasn't actually an option. Those burnouts couldn't have gotten a job cleaning ashtrays in a biker bar.

The B-52s, on the other hand, could easily get work as PTA board members, school bus aides, maybe even paralegals if they'd suck it up and take the classes. Apparently, singing Rock Lobster and Love Shack for decades on end is preferable to honest work.

They sounded pretty good, if a bit loud in the concrete-ness of the venue. I'm not really a dancer, but I can't not dance to Private Idaho, you know? Mo was digging it too. Em, on the other hand...