Adventures in Oral Hygiene

I balked when dental hygienists pushed these $80 electric toothbrushes. They told me the plaque on my teeth and the plaque in my arteries was related, that keeping my teeth extra clean was a way to cut the risk of heart disease.

I even balked after I'd had a heart attack. I can't say dirty teeth were at fault: I smoked for twelve years, though I'd been quit for six or seven years when I had my near-life experience. That was also the year I had a course of Celebrex while going through physical therapy for an ulnar nerve entrapment. And while I had gone uber-healthy a couple months prior to the attack, there were lots of years of trips to the Waffle House, Max's Auto Diner, Waldo's Wurst Wieners, etc. See also sedentary job, see also family history...

I'm not sure what turned the trick for me, but last February or so, probably out of tax refund money though I can't be sure of that, I broke down and bought a SonicCare. I had been back for a cleaning and another hygienist told me a story that convinced me.

First off, she told me lots of the ones on eBay are cheap because hygienists and dentists get flooded with freebies from Braun and Oral-B reps who know that if anyone can sell an $80 toothbrush, it's folks in a dentist's office. But since they can only use one unit themselves, if they have a couple, they auction them off new-in-the-box. Since it's not a collectible, you can get it for sub-retail price.

But more than that: When she was going to school to learn how to scrape teeth, she had a friend who came for the cheap campus cleaning. This friend, she said, was a brushing fanatic, but still had substantial plaque by the time it came to a real cleaning. Then, one visit, she had teeth so clean, the then-in-training hygienist asked her, 'Did you go somewhere for a cleaning already?'

She thought maybe her friend had been to a dentist and came out of a feeling of obligation. But the reply was, 'Nope. I did get one of those sonic toothbrushes, though.'

Considering that I used to spend as much money on cigarettes in an average month, I decided to pull the trigger. My next cleaning is coming up, and I'm curious to see if the hygienist will see the difference. I can feel a difference, even some improvement in my gum disease symptoms, but maybe that's placebo effect.

I was due, though, for a replacement head. They come in pairs, and while they're cheaper than the whole shooting match (I got mine for 80-ish, lists for $120-ish), at $25-ish retail for a pair, they ain't cheap.

I found a guy on eBay selling two sets, got them relatively cheap, and tonight I got to audition them on the honyocks.

Em loved it. She did the whole two minutes (it has a built-in timer for that), and gave it a rave review. Mo...she giggled a lot. And no way did we make it to two minutes.

I asked Molly, 'Did you like the new toothbrush or no?'

'NO!'

So I asked, 'Did it feel funny?'

'FUNNY!!'

Hopefully I can get her used to it. After the whole oral surgery thing, I figure anything that improves her brushing is a plus.