It was a shorter list of stores this year, the past two years they've had ten grocery stores on the manifest, ranging all the way down into Johnson County, to 91st & Metcalf, but only going as far north as Westport.
This year it was only seven stores, but they ranged from Brookside to North Kansas City. This freaks a lot of people out, the whole 'north of the River' thing, but Kansas City isn't that big.
The winning racers did the whole thing, all seven grocery stores and back to St. Peter's in under two hours.
Corinna won Fastest Female, and some people were saying, "How is that possible on a suspension fork mountain bike?"
Several things were at play, really. First off, a lot of the roadie types bailed at the start, figuring to go to a bar and get loaded, then buy a bunch of food pantry donations at one store and show up for the after party. That's fine, since the main point is to raise food for St. Peter's.
But a lot of those characters are capable of averaging 20 miles per hour. Corinna's not as fast as that, but she had an advantage over any non-urban cylist: routing.
Right off the bat, she knew to go up Paseo, hit the Aldi at 8th & Paseo, then cross the Heart of America to get to the store up north on 27th, then come back through downtown to pick up that Cosentinos, then the two Westport stores and the two Brookside stores.
When it comes to an alleycat, routing is racing. Other racers were entering and leaving the same stores as her at one point but then had to back track because they'd missed that Paseo Aldi. Even if you're an animal of a racer, you're not going to backtrack a couple of miles and close in on someone in a race this short.
There were a few male riders who beat her in, but only by a few minutes, and they were all also urban, transportational cyclists.
Me, I wasn't exactly racing to win. I didn't even race to finish, honestly.
My first Cranksgiving, I dutifully road to all the stores and got back after the beer was gone and most people were going home. Knowing the city better now, I wouldn't be quite that bad off this year, but I decided right up front I was going to take it easy, get a bite to eat, and get back on time. I bought eleven items, but only from three of the stores. Not unlike the roadie strategy of spending an hour and a half at a bar, except I held out for the free beers.
Great beers, they were, too. Tallgrass and Boulevard.
Tallgrass particularly impresses me because I'm generally prejudiced against beer in cans. But Tallgrass, Ska and a few others have been proving that excellent beer can come in cans, it's just that at one time it never did.
Then of course there was the fashion contest.
My friend Michelle won best dressed female, of course. How could she not in a bespoke orange corduroy suit, leopard stockings and high heels. This outfit was so sexy, I tried to talk her into making one to fit me.
I was in the running for best dressed, myself. No guys showed up in tuxedos or anything like that this year, and when they did the voting, the guy next to me caused the most noise. He was in a K-State themed roadie kit, and part of the room was cheering and a bunch were booing, being that there are local rivalries. The judges apparently decided the winner went based on total volume, and I was robbed of the title.
Robbed, I tell you. Except after a woman told me she was pulling for me and thought I was clearly the best dressed in my Aloha shirt and pink helmet mohawk, I realized, Wait, I didn't dress up. This is just how I roll.
I wished I had a turkey suit like the guy outside the Brookside Market. He was a hit with the girls, I can tell you. Both when I was locking up and when I was leaving, incredibly beautiful women were posing for pictures with him and flirting with him. If I'd known a turkey suit could do that, I'd have bought one just like it back in high school, would have worn that sucker to school every day.
There were also prizes for heaviest load, both in individual and team categories. This trailer brought in 369 lbs, obviously he knew to stick to canned goods and liquid detergents. Takes a hell of a trailer to pull that off, too. Heaviest individual load was won by Eric Bunch on a cargo bike, I think around 75 lbs. I've hauled that much on a bike, and I can tell you it's no small beer.
I really enjoyed the band at the after party, too. The Philosophers, a trio of thirteen year olds, and I won't say they are a polished act, but they played well together and with intensity. Like what Hole would sound like if Courtney Love was a thirteen year old lad.
I had to take my hat off to them because at that age, what I thought of as my 'band' was me and a drummer named Frank playing partial bits of AC/DC and Black Sabbath songs—the parts that didn't stump us.
Oh, and Corinna used the bully pulpit of her win to deliver her 'Be Careful' poem. I think she underestimates how radical it is because she sees a room full of cyclists here. But at least half the crowd had their bikes on cars in the parking lot waiting to drive home.
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