Sportsball Buzz

For a teenager who hid in his room the night the Royals won the World Series in 1985, I have blossomed into quite the sports fan as an adult. I make time for the Chiefs, I find a way to be in front of a screen when they're playing. The Royals I more listen to on the radio. Depending on my work situation, some seasons I listen to the majority of their games.

Then I got increasingly into the WNBA. I consume the Olympics rabidly when they're happening. Now it's come to this: I have watched all four games of the NBA Finals so far. I never imagined there would be a day when I wanted to watch an NBA basketball game.

I know that part of it is all the W I've been watching. The more you watch a sport, the more you understand it. Especially when you start to follow particular players.

I picked the New York Liberty (or they picked me) as my focus in the W. Because I'm a libertarian? Because of the romance of New York City? Because Sabrina Ionescu is breathtaking? I mean, professional athletes are an attractive lot, but if I'm hiring them for their looks there's lots of pretty WNBA players. If you like tall women, and I do, the sex appeal is pretty broad across the league, but I don't think that's why I watch.

I get sucked into the storylines, just like any good sports junkie. The Liberty are as good a team to follow as any when it comes to players who fuel narratives. Stewie, Sabrina, JJ, they give you a lot to talk about.

Once I got acclimated to the sport, though, I found myself watching other WNBA games, Sparks vs Mercury, Dream vs Sun, Fever vs Sky, I'll watch any of them. It's generally very competitive, and there's always personalities. There are several reasons why I think I like the women's game, a leading theory is the women of today are closer in size to the players Naismith was working with when he invented the game. Though the Liberty's big three mentioned above all tower over Nineteenth Century men. Still, there's not a lot of dunking going on in the women's game. Anyway, it's good television. I'm starting to think even NASCAR might be fun if I'd bother picking a driver and following the sport. I probably won't, but like I say, been watching NBA finals, which seems pretty off-brand for me.

But this game last night, Knicks and Spurs Game 4, wow. The first half just sucked. I found myself kicking myself for not spending this time writing. Even a blog post like this, that's something I did with my time besides let my brain be addled by the play by play. It wasn't competitive, the Spurs were humiliating the Knicks on their home court. It didn't help that I'd decided before Game 1 that I'm pulling for the Knicks. The glamour of NYC? Cool fans like Spike Lee in his superfan getup, Taylor Swift with her "Steve Knicks" t-shirt? The fact that the Knicks are one of the OG franchises yet haven't had a fresh banner to hang in over 50 years?

That last one is probably part of the reason I've adopted the Knicks as my NBA team for the moment. The fact that the Spurs are from the blighted state of Texas would be enough for me. I don't think I could root for a Texas team over a New York team, all things being equal. The Spurs have the more fascinating star in Victor Wembenyama who's a gawky thing even among the giants of the NBA. And he's got the dedication to go with the undeniable talent and physical traits. If you were going to Weird Science a basketball star, you'd get Wemby. But still, Texas. The worst.

Just so you know, I'm aware how ridiculous my anti-Texas bigotry is. It is also genuinely how I feel.

But I almost turned off at halftime, the score was 76 to 49, the Spurs lead had been as much as 29 points. You don't come back from deficits like that no matter how many celebrities you line the court with. I wasn't crestfallen, the Knicks are only kind of my team. I was excited for the Bucks to win it a couple years back, didn't watch the games but another old franchise ending a long drought. Spurs versus almost any team from the East would have me pulling for the East because of my deep seated contempt for Texas. There are places like Atlanta that also seem like Hell on earth to me, but I'm indifferent to Atlanta, not hostile. But yeah, Boston, Philadelphia, I could root for anyone against a Texas team.

Anyway, something made me stick with it past halftime. The first two games of the series, the Spurs won the first half. Game 3 notwithstanding, the Knicks seemed to sustain four quarters of effort better than the Spurs in the series so far. Still, 27 points down at the half. I took a few minutes to beat myself up for not just wasting time on sportsball when I should be writing or doing anything more productive with my time, but then the Knicks started clawing their way back. Narrowed the lead to 20-ish, then 15-ish. And the excitement started to build.

By the time the Knicks won it on a last second tip-in, the greatest comeback in NBA Finals history, I was fairly buzzing. I might have had a little THC helping that out, but the neurochemistry was obvious. Watching 'my team' climb back out of the abyss and steal a win right off Wemby's plate was a rush.

I've heard that people make better dietary choices the day after their sports team wins a game, and I believe it. It's kinda a shame that there have to be losers to create what the winners feel, because ideally everyone involved would be high as a freed balloon at the end of every sportsball event. I'd even suggest doing so could bring about world peace or something, all those people making better choices because they watched a game and the sports gods smiled upon their tribe.

This is not me working on my novel, but it speaks to the core of what my novel is about. One of the principal storylines in it is about the owner of an NFL team who hires a shaman to influence the outcome of games. You can't have Game 4 and not believe there's some kinda magic involved. I joke about how many celebrities were seated courtside, but you know there were lots of prayers sent up. Why not a little black magic, too? Remember that woman with a voodoo doll of Patrick Mahomes in the stands when the Chiefs fell apart in the Super Bowl?

If you're a religious person, be careful. Sports fandom is a form of idolatry if you're keeping track.

And I suppose if you're an addictive person, and I am, you should stay mindful of your buzzes, even clean ones. Fortunately watching a little athletic competition isn't going to aggravate my fatty liver or my dodgy kidneys.