¿Oye, usted Langosta de idiota: dónde el infierno usted aprendió su español?
I hear my Spanglish speaking audience ask after some of the cartoons I made for the incredibly long post below the ridunculously short one.
My Spanglish audience? I don't have an audience. It's more like a couple of penpals and a photocopier. I put my posts up and the two or three friends I have on earth occasionally squander their time reading it. Sometimes a total stranger (usually, judging from Statcouter's keyword analysis, weirdos from the Third World who think I'd pimp their sister for them. Or prostitute my sister for their pleasure, etc.) gets on, but the usual visit length for such people is about...
Zero. Zero seconds is a real common number here in Lobster Land. I'd be demoralized if it werent' for the fact that Lobster Land lets me babble without driving Frau Lobster onto experimental medications for obnoxious, hypergraphic husbands. That, and the people who actually read my blog and reply to it are in the aforementioned microscoptic group of people who like me approximately as much as I like them.
But for the monster post dealing with the NFL, the telivision practices of its pimps, the Jihad of Tolerance, the stupid idea of trying to keep out badly needed Mexican immigrants by building walls and silly, contradictory social programs and enforcement schemes designed to make migrant workers look like tramps, and the plight of the shark...
Okay, the above paragraph exceeds the attention span of most Americans, so when I had all these words down, I thought maybe a graphic or two might help liven it up. The first (generic football under center) sucked. But I found more stuff, and then fagged out before I was quite done and got in a hurry to publish what was supposed to be Sunday's blog because it was Tuesday already and three days is a long time to work on something you're tossing off.
So I went back in today with a vengeance, looking for additional graphics and ways to spice up the ones I had. I did one of my favorite lame tricks, giving speech bubbles to people and animals. Given the subject matter, it made sense to make some of the captions Spanish.
But I don't speak Spanish. Fortunatetly, there's free online translators abounding. But it's a computer generated phrasebook sort of thing, and I'm sure my Spanish (both in this post and in the cartoons below) is abominable.
This compulsion to 'control' borders that shouldn't even be there reminds me of people who insist there are just way too many people.
I'll agree there are too many stupid people, but at least they provide a bit of entertainment here and there. But too many people? Show me a blue whale who worries about too many blue whales in the sea. A wolf that worries there might be too many wolves. Even if you could read their minds, they won't tell you that.
When a people says there are too many people, what they're really saying is 'just enough of me, way too much of you.' Ditto for people who want to 'control' the border with Mexico. The welfare trap is a red herring: if you didn't make it so hard for a newcomer to get a job, or when you get whole industries to freeze out 'illegal' laborers, those workers wouldn't be on the dole. The solution is simple: get rid of the dole, and fire all those boobs at the INS while you're at it. America should be a come-as-you-are party for anyone willing to make their way by honest means.
I've been feeling I missed my calling. I should be smuggling Mexican workers into America, but using methods that don't leave them dead in the dessert. Unfortunately, even if I showed up with a Stealth Jumbo Jet ready to take several hundred people across in air conditioned comfort, I wouldn't be understood with my online phrasebook Spanish. By the time I got an interpreter and explained the situation, the U.S. authorities would have me on the fast track to Leavenworth.
1 comment:
This compulsion to 'control' borders that shouldn't even be there reminds me of people who insist there are just way too many people.
Just insisting a fact. And fuck yes, there should be border patrol.
I can’t really understand this, ‘well there are still _a few_ trees left standing, so we haven’t totally ruined the planet. Yet.’
I'll agree there are too many stupid people,
Basic math. More and more people, more and more stupid people. And as basic trends go: stupidity is the norm.
But too many people? Show me a blue whale who worries about too many blue whales in the sea. A wolf that worries there might be too many wolves. Even if you could read their minds, they won't tell you that.
And you’re talking about “red herrings”? Blue whales nor wolves are ‘top of the food chain’. Nor have they devised absurd ways to prolong life and fight the few things that can knock them off. Their mortality rate is balanced quite well. They have plenty of ‘elbow room’. [well, those not living in a zoo]
We, however, don’t.
Homo Sapiens have leap-frogged nature “taking its course”.
So next time you’re stuck in traffic give your horn a toot for the whales and wolves.
The solution is simple: get rid of the dole, and fire all those boobs at the INS while you're at it. America should be a come-as-you-are party for anyone willing to make their way by honest means.
While I totally agree it’s a shitty system, it doesn’t create the problem.
And it’s here to stay. Welfare-fuckers cast a vote (those that can read – for we *know* they can find a hole (ahem)), so any politician even talking about “reform”, let alone abolition, will get metaphorically hung high.
As I’ve said to you privately, while I gather that the Mexicans, Brazilians, Puerto Ricans and whatevers aren’t seemingly fleeing to [city deleted to protect the privacy of Lobsters], Kansas, they _are_ over-populating the cities (and other places, like Virginia, oddly enough). The melting pot has been overflowing for far too long. The pot is cracked and on it’s last legs.
All that said, if letting more and more of the uneducated masses into the country will sooner start a second “civil war” –something the US desperately needs- them open the floodgates; release the Kraken.
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